Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Really helping or just polite.
I'm not saying that people really don't want to help, I just wonder sometimes if they feel like they have to. I am so used to doing everything by my self that when people ask if they can help I usually say, "No I've got it, thanks." But today I was wondering if they felt bad that I would not let them help? I remember hearing a story, true or not I don't know, about a women who was prego with a third or fourth kid. When the Relief Scocity asked if they could bring in meals, she told the no, she had been cooking for weeks and the freezer was full of meals for her family. The Relief Scocity person told her that she always serves others it was their turn to serve her. I have always HATED asking for help, and sometimes feel that people ask if they can help just to be polite. I don't want to burden them if they really don't want to help. Don't get me wrong it was nice that they asked, I just don't want to be a burden. Is any of this making sense? So what do I do? Anyone have any good answers?
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3 comments:
I am much like you. I said no to meals when I had Cooper and felt so bad after word. So-with my appendix adventure, the meals (like yours my dear friend) were so meaningful and helpful. It's hard to let people serve you, but it's what completes the true circle of service. You must be on the receiving end at some point or another. That's what I've learned in the last year.
Sorry Geniel. I'm much like you. I never want to be the burden so I don't accept help. There was even a time when someone made me feel like I was a burden and that I expected too much when I was pregnant. It's a tough situation because I know from experience that there are some that are more than willing to help and some that think you require too much.
I think it's funny that you ask this question. Is also a loaded one...
I really do enjoy taking dinners to people and yes, it does hurt my feelings a little when I am ready and willing to help and people tell me that they don't want it. I feel like sometimes, I hog opportunities to take dinner for someone. Em knows to call me if there is a spot open...
Feeling like you are a burden is something that we all go through. As long as you aren't asking for meals to be brought in everyday for 3 months and you are capable of doing it yourself because you don't feel like cooking, that's when it is a bother. Medical reasons, such as my twins had earaches and everyone else has pink eye, warrants a meal coming in. Hint, hint.
When I had Aaron, I was back and forth from NICU for 3 days and didn't get so much as a call from my RS. When the pres and counselor did come over about 3 weeks later (without any notice, my house was a wreck and you could see that they really didn't want to come in), they sat and talked to me to see how I was doing, I was healed by then, and quickly left because they were taking dinner to someone with a huge family (baby #7) and she was a really good friend of theirs. I was on the enrichment board and did a lot for these women, I asked for dinners and help from the Pres and the compassionate service leader and got nothing... it just made me realize how important it is to provide service whatever the need may be.
Sometimes, I would love to help someone, I know they need it, but they have told me No enough that I feel like I am annoying them by asking over and over about it and becoming a burden to them.
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