In the last few days I have given much thought to the act of motherhood and how things in our lives make us look at motherhood. Just today I went to a sealing for an old friend, the last sealing I was at was also hers. Her ex-husband had joined the church and loved it, I knew him also. Then one day after three years and 2 kids he said to her, "I don't want this, I don't want to be a dad, a father, a husband, a member of this church I don't want this!" Now here she is a single mom with 2 young kids alone. Today she was sealed to a man who is also a convert, but who loves her kids as his own and is adopting them as soon as possible. As I sat and listened to the Sealer I had to wonder about her thoughts. I also had to wonder about her mothers thoughts, as they sat there both crying in joy. I know it had to be hard for Julie, my friend, to date again, she had not only her happiness to worry about but her childern's as well. Today I also talked to another friend who's baby was born very pre-mature. I am sure that she has heard I know how you're feeling, but to all of those so sympethetic women, you don't. As I told her "I know how you feel", I contiuned, "You feel like your body let you child down, like your body wasn't good enough good enough for your child. Then you feel like it's your fault that your baby in in such trouble and not doing so well. You feel respondsable for problem." As she began to cry, she said" That's exactaly what I told my husband, and he told me not to feel this way." I began to remember back to when the twins were born, people would ask"How do you feel, are you ok?" and I would say" I'm fine", but inside I was sceaming "Look at what I have done to my kids! They are in the hospital for who knows how long and both having problems! How do you think I feel!" But of course that is not how you are suppost to act, so you don't. It's hard to know what a mother is thinking in times of joy and in times a sorrow. It's hard to know really what to say in these times also. With the twins even my mom telling me it wasn't my fault did not work, but she held me as I cried, for that is what moms do. Next time I tell some one I know how you feel I will continue with how I felt in the situation, I realized today that is the best way to show someone that you really know how they feel.